Month 18 | IUI + HCG + 150mgs Clomid

6-18-15

I went a day over this month. That hurt. I was feeling pretty hopeful. I started on 150 mg of clomid. The second day I went home from work early with unbearable pain in my stomach. I've never felt it before.

I took ib profen and a bath and laid in my bed for hours. The pain eventually went away. The fda does not recommend the dose of drugs that I am on. That makes me worried. On the third day of the meds I became very depressed. I was so happy just two days before. Even after I started my period, that's how I know the meds are causing some major chemical imbalance. I felt so hopeless last night. I couldn't shake the feeling. Nothing was making me happy. Even stuff I was so happy about just the day before. Depression washed over me and pj held me while we cried.

I prayed about it. And I needed to get rid of that feeling. Depression scares me and I hate to feel that way. So I decide to not finish this round of clomid. Which was a really hard decision for me to make because its my last shot before surgery. And on 150mgs it could have been a perfect shot.

I called my dr and I took the morning off. Now I'm just waiting to know if I screwed this whole month up. I hate that he might put me on meds cuz I'm not depressed on the weeks that I am not taking meds. But if the meds keep rocking my world it's gonna make me lose it.

I hope this iui still has a good shot.

I ended up skipping the day on meds. Then taking one last dose the next day. I still got enough of it in me. Then I left work super sick Friday morning and laid on the couch all day. I doubled up on my does of nausea medicine. Then a few days later realized that I had the stomach flu. Pj got it two days later. Then that all made sense.

What a terrible no good week. We managed to have a good time during it all though. We went to a temple sealing and took a day in slc.

I went to the dr for my follicle check. I had one ready! It was finally on time. So I got an hcg shot that day. And did iui the next day. It wasn't too bad, very very painful but not as bad as the first time.

I was really praying the little catheter would work. But he had to use the big one yet again. Pj held my hand and the dr. Kept asking if I was okay. I was in so much pain and kinda out of it in that moment that for some reason I said "yeee" instead of "yeah" so pj and I just started laughing.

Laid there with my legs up 20 minutes then took the day easy. I felt bad I couldn't help Kylee move and I didn't really have an excuse for her either but I have to take the day easy when I get that done.

Waited two weeks. Checked. Negative.

I could feel my period coming full force. It started the day after the 14 day wait on day 31. I cried the night before because I knew it was coming.